Monday, 27 August 2012

Cravings XXVIII (Henry)


XXVIII - Henry

            He didn’t know what to do.  It had been a long, long time since he last had a young woman sobbing at his feet and he had forgotten how to respond.  It felt like his emotional responses had all dried up years ago, the same time he had lost his faith in God, on the day he had lost his wife.

            Her name was Irene and she had been beautiful.  He had met her when he was first training for the ministry at the theological college in Dingwall and they were courting not long after.  They married within the year and as he graduated and took charge of a small parish on the outskirts of Devara, she became the perfect minister’s wife.  She was always able to fill in the gaps in his ministry.  If he had never been very good with people, it didn’t matter, because Irene was always so caring, so fond of everyone and she always knew what people needed to be told.  She had led the women’s prayer groups, was always in charge of teas and fancy pieces and somehow just made the whole church a better place to be.  Henry had loved her more than anything in the world, indeed more than he had loved God.

When she was diagnosed with cancer he took it hard.  She of course was just the same as she always was.  ‘Whatever God wills will be,’ she had said, ‘and if I go now it will be to a far better place’, but as Henry watched the illness take her, making her seem to shrivel up and lose all her perfect beauty, he wondered how God could be so cruel.  On the day she died he decided that he didn’t care to believe in a God who would take her from him and his conviction that there was no God grew from then.  He took early retirement from the ministry within the year, cut himself off from his parish and moved to the small apartment where he had lived ever since.  He had written a little, kept a little extra money rolling in and it had seemed enough to get by on, but it was never the same.

In a way, his life had ended with Irene.

And now, here he was, decades later, wishing Irene were there with him once more, because she would know what to do to help this woman.  She would know the words to say.  But she would tell her to seek her God, he thought bitterly, but what comfort has he ever brought me?

Still, he knelt down beside her and tried to think of how Irene might have approached her, the tone she would have used, her posture.

“It’s okay,” he said, trying to sound calm, soothing, “it’s okay, just tell me what happened.”

It took Paige a few attempts to get it out, but eventually she managed to explain about Josh with enough clarity for Henry to get the gist.  He felt a chill as he thought about the scream he had heard from down the corridor, but the rational part of his mind decided that it was time to take over again.  There was no sign of Josh in the courtyard, so that meant that whatever had happened to him, he must have gone, or been taken, elsewhere, which meant that the ought to try to find him.  Who knew what they would find, exactly, but they had to try and maybe, just maybe, there was some hope.

“Come on,” Henry said gently, “let’s get you to your feet and then we’ll see if we can try and find Josh and Charlie together.  They must be around here somewhere.  There have been a lot of strange things going on tonight – I admit that now, but I don’t believe they’ve just vanished into thin air.”

Paige nodded through her tears.  Henry found her staring a little disconcerting.  It was as if she wasn’t entirely sure he was the same man.  Maybe I’m not, he thought, maybe I’m changing, but who knows what into.  If only Irene were here.  She’d know…

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