XXVII - Paige
“What do
I do now?” Paige asked the empty courtyard through her tears, “what do I do?”
She was
kneeling on the rubble-strewn ground, cushioned by weeds, her hands pressed to
her face. Tendrils of fog coiled and
uncoiled around her, filling the courtyard and sheathing her in a silence so
thick that even her sobs seemed muted now, but she hardly noticed. All she could think of at that precise
moment was her loneliness. Everyone had
left. First Charlie, then they had left
Henry and now Josh. She felt utterly
alone, utterly powerless and utterly lost.
I
could backtrack, leave the factory. I
might find Henry if I do, she thought, but what about Charlie? What about Josh?
She
didn’t know what to think about Josh.
His final scream before he vanished was so horrible, so wet, as to leave
part of her certain that he must be dead, but if that was the case, then where
was his body? He had completely
disappeared and, to Paige, that meant anything was possible, but she didn’t
know what she could do about it.
I’m
just one woman, she thought bitterly, alone, weak…
She wasn’t really a feminist,
but neither did she believe that women were inferior to men. She had always thought that she and David
were pretty evenly matched and there were plenty of times when she had amply
proven that emotionally at least, she was the stronger of the two. That was what had made it so easy to hurt
him, not because she wanted to, just because she could, because the opportunity
was there and the desire to be with someone else had been greater than her
desire to honour her husband. And she
had seen it destroy him a little each time, yet still he had stuck with her,
despite the affairs, despite the arguments, despite the way she just kept on
fighting their marriage, there it remained, in the background, holding together.
It wasn’t physical or emotional
weakness she suffered from.
The sound of footfalls and
heavy breathing grew behind her. At
first she thought it was some sort of monster and she tensed accordingly. If it comes now maybe it will end,
she thought, and though she was ashamed of the thought, she was much more
frightened of the alternatives. If
it comes…
“What’s happened?” huffed the
old man behind her. Paige let all her
breath out in one go. Her throat was so
raw and choked up that it was almost a cough.
She lifted her head, rubbed her
eyes and looked over her shoulder to see Henry shambling towards her, out of
breath, face red. Oh, what it is
now?
“What’s happened?” he called
out again, staggering through the doors into the courtyard. “I head you crying,” he said. He’s not angry, she stared at him, he’s
not angry just…
“I…” she began, and then the
tears came again.
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