Friday, 17 August 2012

Cravings XXIII (Henry)


XXIII - Henry

            I’m running out of breath.

            Henry couldn’t have said for how long he had been running.  It felt like hours, days even, although that firm, rational part of his mind knew he couldn’t be more than a few minutes, if that.  His legs ached.  His lungs felt like they were on fire.  His body just couldn’t cope with the strain of such exercise, or the stress of the fear itself.  [Is that monster still behind me?  It couldn’t have been a monster/It couldn’t have been anything else!]  Perhaps twenty, maybe thirty, forty years ago he would have found it no trouble at all, but now – he was just too old for this sort of thing.  I should be sitting at home, reading a book, not chased through a ruined factory by some… some…

            He couldn’t take it any longer.  He couldn’t take it at all.  He wanted the nightmare to end, to be back where he belonged [In hospital/At home] and no longer part of some freak show.  Oh but my body is tired.  I just want to sit down and take a breath but what if…  [that creature is still behind me]  He couldn’t stop.  He couldn’t stop he just… just… couldn’t.

            “Oh!” he gasped, as some pain, some indeterminable ache became deeper, sharper, longer than all the others, “Oh, I… can’t… go… on.”

            The wall was deliciously, perfectly cool; as cool as a fresh glass of water on a sunny day in June, as cool as cotton sheets, as cool as cucumber; as cool as waking up at three am screaming, as cool as aging blood, as terror.  He clawed the slick paintwork as if it might have handholds, as if finding one would make the slightest difference.  His knees his the concrete floor like ten tonne boulders, cracking as they went, though the pain was not so sharp as the sound.  He knelt there, gasping, gasping, gasping.

            When he had caught his breath enough to realise where he was, what he was doing, his head snapped around on instinct so that he might stare back down the corridor towards the factory hall he had been running from.  He fully expected to see the creature there, dripping, snarling at him, but the corridor was empty.  He was alone.

            “Ha!” he shouted in terrible relief, “Ha ha!”

            He sounded mad and he knew it, but in that moment he didn’t care, after all, there was no one there – who could hear the mad old man laughing away to himself, still half out of breath on the floor of a ruined factory building in the middle of the night.  Who would care?

            “Ha, ha, haa!” he let his voice echo back towards the machine hall, “You couldn’t keep up with me you-” and here was the decision point, how would he describe his pursuer, the source of all his fears “-you little…” He sounded feeble, pathetic, old.

            “I’m a pathetic, scared old man,” he said to no one but himself, “and I don’t know what’s real anymore.”

            Tears ran down his cracked face, pattering against the dusty concrete, feeding the weeds.

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