Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Stillborn IV (Paige)


IV - Paige

            Paige had never liked James street very much.  It had just never felt like a safe street to her.  It was always dirty and there was something about the shops which lined its pavements which only added to that sense.  A woman walking along James street might not feel particularly welcome as a person and perhaps too welcome as an object, especially during the night, and so she had always done her best to avoid it.  That she was walking down it now, through the fog with no lights at all, and was not particularly afraid was an irony she could almost laugh at.  Almost.

            She knew she should be scared.  She knew that, at any second, something could happen which could endanger all their lives.  Anything might be lurking in the fog, ready to jump out at them, but what was missing – the lights, the sounds, the drifting shadows of other people – lent the street a kind of calm it never had normally.

            There was more to it than that, of course.  Part of it was just tiredness.  Paige was tired of being scared, tired of running, tired of crying.  She was sick and tired of the whole thing, but there was nothing she could do about it, so she wandered on, almost numbed to everything until the next crisis.

            And then there was the strange revelation Henry had just given them, putting the whole evening into context.  It seemed that just knowing a bit more about what was happening made it slightly less terrifying, which was not to say it wasn’t still mysterious and monstrous, but it was no longer completely unknown.

            Finally there was that scrap of Bible she had remembered,  remember to be strong and brave.  The more she thought about it the more it seemed that she could be strong, she could be brave, no matter what.  She tried to tell herself it was just a trick of repeating the same thing over and over in her mind, but she couldn’t help but think it might have had more to do with the implicit knowledge of the rest of the verse: for the Lord your God is with you.

            She was still wondering about that.  Could there really be a God working out some good purpose in the midst of all of this darkness?  She wasn’t sure, but the thought of such a being, the mere possibility, was something of a comfort and she found her mind flicking back to that verse more and more often.  She was tempted to talk to Henry about it, but she felt embarrassed and, with everything else going on, it didn’t really seem appropriate, or even possible, so she kept her thoughts to herself.

            And so they continued to walk on in silence through the dark.

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