Friday, 29 June 2012

Cravings I (Hazel)


I - Hazel

            Hazel opened her eyes.  It was dark, but she lay on a comfortable cot, surrounded by soft pillows and she felt very well rested.  She stretched and as she did so her hand slid past the exposed skin of her swollen belly.  She rubbed the bump uncertainly, marvelling and the silky smooth, taut skin.  There was a twitch of movement underneath and she pulled her hand away.  The movement persisted, however and, cautiously, she placed her hand back where it was and felt the life within her squirming and kicking.  She smiled in spite of herself, in spite of her terror.

            She lay there, caressing the swell of her mysterious pregnancy and tried to remember how she had gotten where she was.  She remembered the fire and the young man she thought of as the Knight, who had taken her to the House of the Corrections.  She remembered going inside, being welcomed in by the women there, many pregnant like her, all poor, some dying, perhaps.  The matron had been less welcoming.  She had thrown harsh words at her like sharpened knives, told her of her sin and of the penance she must live out in that place until the child was born.  She had been too scared and confused to respond, but with the fire raging in the city outside, with the men running around carrying buckets in the streets and the guards defending the walls, the other women had become strangely emboldened.

            The matron had not lived much longer.

            And so those women had taken her in, had looked after her like she was some sort of beggar princess.  She had not understood, but it hadn’t mattered.  They treated her with such care and respect.  “You’re the one,” they had repeated, over and over as they admired her bump, caressed it.

            She had become tired quite suddenly and the other women had been quick to prepare a space for her, giving her all the pillows they could spare as she curled up on the cot.  They had prayed over her then, strange prayers she had never heard before, prayers for her baby and for the things he would do when he was born and prayers for herself, that she would be exalted as Mary had been.  She didn’t understand any of it, but it made her feel special like she had never felt before.

            As she had drifted off to sleep one of the women leaned over her and kissed her, gently, on the forehead.

            “Sleep well, Margaret,” she had whispered before Hazel’s eyes fluttered shut.

            Who was Margaret? Hazel wondered as she lay in the darkness, listening to the sounds of the city drifting through a nearby window.  She could hear traffic, sirens, music, voices.  the window began to shed light, a harsh, steady orange that spoke of streetlamps, rather than flames.

            She sat up and stared at it in wonder.  She was back in the Devara she knew.

            It only took a few moments of fumbling around in the darkness to find a light switch.  A bare bulb glowed gently, building in brightness overhead, revealing a spare room with little in it but her cot and a small bedside table, upon which lay an ancient, battered-looking book.

            Hazel sat down on the bed once more and examined the book.  It had no title on the cover, only an odd symbol, like a cross made out of infinity loops, but as she opened it to the frontispiece she saw that it was The Testament of Saint Margaret of Devara.

            Margaret, she thought with a start, before turning the pages slowly, just skimming the text, pausing only to look at the engravings which interspersed it every few pages or so.  They were mostly images of old buildings, city scenes, or illustrations of Margaret’s story.  She stopped at an image of the Devara House of Corrections with the caption beneath declaring, ‘They took her in and adored her’.

            What is happening to me, she thought, closing the book and setting it down once more to gaze at the alien bulge of her navel.  It was only half covered by her top, but the bare skin beneath was not, in truth, completely bare, she realised.  There was an ink marking there, like a tattoo.  She pulled her clothing up to get a closer look and saw, half-expected, half-feared, the cross from the book’s cover inked beneath her taut skin.

            I need answers, she thought and, picking the book up, she said goodbye to her cosy cot and made her way out into the night.

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