Friday, 27 April 2012

Fever I (Hazel)


I - Hazel

            Busy streets: the annual migration of consumers, an optional commute, filling the space between shop window and traffic lane with boots and bags, polite apologies and razorwire glances.  Hazel stared out from the blast-heated shelter of a card storefront at all the men and women, hurrying to get the last few vital presents, or in some cases, the first few.  The last week before Christmas and all that seemed to be on anyone's minds was the rush to buy, to give something bigger and better than anyone else in the hopes that they might receive even more.  And all that energy - desire, expectation, responsibility, superiority, inferiority and so many other confused emotions - it all flowed through the Christmas shopping crowd.  An ugly sight, Hazel thought, even beneath all the sparkling lights and tinsel.

            It wasn't her favourite time of year.  She was a summer person.  Nothing pleasant awaited her in the long winter nights, only chills and darkness.  She allowed herself a slight, ironic smile.  She still thought of winter the same way even now, even when she knew that there was something waiting for her at home, at night.  The chills would still come, but she wouldn't be alone and she could seek warmth in another's arms.  She had met Nathan that summer and it seemed he brought a little of the season's heat with him into the colder months.  The smile wasn't ironic anymore.

            It was Nathan she was waiting for.  He had gone to buy a few things she wasn't allowed to see - not underwear, I hope.  Won't need any of that this year - and she had taken the opportunity to buy his presents.  They had agreed to meet up at the card shop.  Nathan was late.

            She looked at her watch.  They had said five o'clock and it was now nearly quarter past.  She peered anxiously over the heads of all the rushing shoppers up and down the street.  Its distant ends were obscured by a thin fog which seemed to have arisen whilst they worked busily to fuel the economy.  The spire of the City Kirk rose up out of the mists like a knife of granite and beneath it, the Christmas lights which decorated the trees in the kirkyard flickered faintly through the white vapour.  She stared at it a moment, wondering perhaps if the sanctuary of the Kirk might be a sanctuary against the rush of modern Christmas, but then she remembered a childhood filled with forced carol singings and dire nativity plays and she returned her thoughts to the present and to Nathan.

            Where is he?  She hated waiting, she hated the cold and she hated Christmas shopping.  She was only really going along with it for Nathan's sake.  He had the kind of warm personality that relished this time of year, and whilst Hazel was trying to see it from his perspective it was a struggle.  It had always been such a lonely time for her and as often happens to lonely people, that loneliness became a kind a security in itself.  It was hard to break out of habits, even the painful ones.

            She stomped her feet against the cold and rubbed her gloved hands up and down her coat whilst leaning her head back to take in the most of the heating which blew down from above the doors.  She felt stupid standing there.  People brushed past her to get in and out of the store and whilst it wasn't as bad as standing in the middle of the street, she still felt like she was in everyone's way.  She glanced at her watch again.  It was approaching twenty past five now.

            Come on Nathan, I want to finish this and go home!  Her patience was wearing thin and her earlier sentiment was fading swiftly into anger.  The boy would be getting a earful now.

            Then she caught some movement out of the corner of her eye.  Why it drew her attention she could not have said, but suddenly one detail out of the many busy, changing things around her had altered in a way which got her attention and she turned to focus on it.  At the opposite side of the kirkyard, where the grand pillars of its street facade ended and a set of steps wound down to lower, older streets, she caught a glimpse of Nathan, looking anxiously all around before disappearing down those steps.

            What is he-?

            She didn't linger to think it any further through.  Picking up her bags so they were secured around her arms she thrust her fists into coat pockets and marched out into the street, brushing past the other pedestrians in an effort to get to a crossing and follow her boyfriend.

            The traffic seemed to be unending and the lights stayed red for longer than seemed normal.  As soon as they switched to amber Hazel shot across the street, not caring that cars were still slowing to a stop in either direction.  There was a flurry of horn blasts, but Hazel was already running along the other side of the street, barely noticing the shoppers in her way.  Soon the last pillar of the kirkyard was behind her and the dark winding steps yawned before her.

            "Nathan?"  She called out, ignoring the stares of passers-by.  Her voice seemed to echo down into the foggy street below, emphasising the ensuing silence.

            The steps were slightly frosty and she nearly slipped a few times as she descended them.  The street at the bottom seemed almost a different world from the one she had just left.  The shops and businesses here seemed to be built into the very roots of the city's granite architecture and wound their way away from the main shopping area, in the shadow of the kirkyard and the arches upon which the high-street was built.  The noises of traffic and pedestrian had faded away, muted perhaps by the lines of the buildings, or the fog.  It felt colder, also.

            "Nathan?"  She called again, walking steadily along the curved street and watching the silhouettes of lampposts emerge from the fog, each time hoping it would be Nathan, but there was no sign of him, or anyone else.

            She kept walking and the street seemed to keep going.  Hazel had never really explored the city centre much, so she wasn't familiar with most of its smaller streets, but she soon began to wonder how she had not found herself onto one of the other streets she knew.  And still the street curved on and the lights dimmed.

            "Nathan, where are you?  We need to get the bus back soon..."

            The lights seemed to be dimming and flickering all around her and the only sound was of her own footsteps on the icy cobbled stone.  Then suddenly she found herself stood at the edge of the last circle of orange light, watching the tendrils of fog catch the colour as they reached out of the dark.  The rest of the street now curved on into blackness.

            "Nathan?"  Her voice had taken on a slight whine and she could feel tears of fear and frustration building and burning her eyes.

            She looked back over her shoulder, and peered along the street the way she had come.  The lights were flickering out one by one.  Her eyes widened as they watched the darkness stretching towards her.  She felt a tap on her shoulder, turned suddenly, frightened even though she was expecting to see Nathan.  Then the darkness hit.

NEXT

No comments:

Post a Comment